We were both always aware of the existence of other lovers, but it was clear that we were each other's favorite.
I read dozens of studies about love, how people connect and why they do or don’t stay together.
But society told me I had to be with one person at a time, with the goal of choosing one person forever. After a really great, long-term, successfully monogamous relationship ended, I was suddenly single in my late twenties and enjoying the freedom and the variety. Adam was fun and our chemistry was fantastic and rare, and though we kept it strictly physical, with those boundaries clearly defined throughout, spending time together was becoming the highlight.
I would often fall into a cycle of trying to make that work but eventually letting temptation get the best of me, and failing both parties of the relationship; especially my partner. Eventually, the inevitable conversation came up naturally about what we were, and what we could be.
It’s totally normal to have crushes while in a relationship.
Just because you’re devoted to someone doesn’t mean you aren’t going to find other people attractive or charismatic.